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How To Ask For Help When You Have Suicidal Thoughts

If you’ve had suicidal thoughts at any point in your life, I want to start by thanking you for holding on and choosing to continue living. I know how difficult it can be to live when your mind is at war with itself. Having those thoughts is not wrong and it’s not selfish to want an end to your suffering. It’s human to feel defeated and like there’s nothing left to do but end it all. But you know what else is human? having hope that things might improve, change or get better. You’ve held on to that even by a thread and you should be proud of yourself.

Thoughts about suicide are not uncommon so when they come, remember that so many other people think about the same thing. Thoughts are also not facts so don’t believe everything you think about. It’s not true that you’re a burden or a failure. It’s not true that there are no reasons to keep on living. It’s not true that nobody will miss you when you’re gone. It’s not true that this world would be better off without you. Irrational thoughts are baseless even if you believe that there are justified. I’m not saying you don’t have a right to feel the way you do but is it a true reflection of who you are and the future you could have?

Life is so tough sometimes but we are also tough….you are tough. Tough enough to face the giants in front of you, slay them, and live a happy and fulfilling life. Don’t let anyone convince you (even yourself) that there’s a problem too big for a solution. Seasons come and go even the seemingly difficult ones. You’ve conquered before and you can do it a thousand times over.

It all starts with asking for help. A problem shared is already half-solved because there’s another person who’s aware of your suffering and they may have the solutions you don’t. Being vulnerable to suicidal thoughts is difficult and uncomfortable. You probably don’t want others to think about you as weak or incompetent which is a very valid concern because people are not always kind enough to listen or help. But it’s better to try and ask for help than to suffer alone in silence. Before you ask for help, keep these notes in mind:

  • If you’ve hit rock bottom, you can only go up from there. If you’re at the lowest point of your life, it can only get better so don’t give up on yourself just yet. You may have to climb out of that pit but at least you’ll be on your way up.

  • Things can and will change. No situation is permanent. This pain isn’t permanent. Those suicidal thoughts are not forever. There’s a great possibility of it all working out together for your good and you emerging out of this stronger, better, and wiser.

  • Your story is not insignificant. No experience of your life has been wasted. Share this story with others so that they can help you make it better. People are the greatest assets you can have on this journey because they will remind you why you should keep on living. If people are the source of your pain, therapy can be the start of your healing.

Here’s how you can seek help for yourself if you’ve thought of or attempted suicide:

  • If it’s an emergency like a fatal suicide attempt, immediately call your therapist, 911, or the National Suicide Prevention Line (1-800-273-8255) and/or rush yourself to the emergency room. Call your friends or family to come to your aid or signal for help from people around you.

  • Be honest with someone you trust: “I’m struggling with X, are you in a position to advise me?” “I’ve been having suicidal thoughts and I would appreciate it if you could help me” “I don’t feel like myself lately, can I talk about it with you?” “Could you please help me think of some options for this problem I have?”

  • Avoid withdrawing from people who love you even if it means just sitting in their presence without talking. Surround yourself with love and don’t isolate yourself because that will make you feel worse about yourself. Call or ask your loved ones to call you or sit with you as you process things.

  • Make a list of all the things and people you love. Have a “Reasons to live” list that you can look at when things feel overwhelming. It could be the little things like sunsets or smiles from your loved ones and even the very big ones like 5-year goals and plans. That list should motivate you to keep going.

  • Consume media that makes you happy like favorite books, comfort shows, and inspiring music. Feed on information that inspires positive feelings like sermons or motivational talks. Watch videos of people who have had the same thoughts but triumphed.

  • Eliminate everything that could lead to self-harm from your environment. Discard the pills, knives, guns, matchboxes, ropes, etc. If you’re on medication for an illness, let someone else administer the dosage and store the drugs.

  • Try your best to practice gratitude in most moments. There’s always something to be grateful for even the small fact that your heart is still beating. Thank yourself constantly for getting through another day. Celebrate your small and big achievements of the day. Everything feels better when we find something to be thankful for.

  • Create an emergency contact list of people you can call when you’re in crisis. Let them know that they are your emergency contacts so that they can respond promptly if anything happens. This could be your partner, friends, teacher, or therapist.

  • Build a list of positive distractions that can take your mind off suicidal thoughts like napping, walking, going to the gym, saying affirmations, meditating, mindfulness, crocheting, watching TV, reading, playing with the kids, etc.

  • Give therapy a chance. The best way to work through suicidal thoughts is through talk therapy where you have a safe space to explore and question. There is nothing too big to talk about in therapy. You may not want to share some things with friends and family but you can talk about them in therapy. It’s also beneficial in helping you overcome suicidal thoughts.

If you or someone you know has suicidal thoughts or more questions about suicide, please reach out to us immediately at or call us Tel: 786-490-5988. Suicide is preventable and you should never feel like it’s the end of the road for you. There is hope to continue living and we are here to professionally guide you through this crisis of thought or feeling. You are not alone.


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